some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
