Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
