Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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