New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
