rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
