Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
