Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm both gender and math confused
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