watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
