Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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