Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
