you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
