What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it penis luge time yet?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
