At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
