she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
