I smell stomach acid.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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