I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
