we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
