Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
