so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
