You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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