why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
