he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
