so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
