as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
