im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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