After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
