Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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