how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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