Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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