As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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