i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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