I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
