How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
