after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
