Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
