I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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