well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's never too late to be topless.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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