ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
