He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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