What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
