I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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