There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
