Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
