The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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