his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
