How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
