sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
