I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
