I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
