I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
