Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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