He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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